3/22/2006 11:25:00 AM|W|P|Robert Mang|W|P|I should write about something. I really should. But I just haven’t been in the mood. Nevertheless, I shall write because I have little else to do. I have started writing for HCC’s paper. I could write a 10,000 word essay on what a bad paper HCC has, but as I said, I’m not in the mood. For the record, while I’m talking about my mood, it is a very good shape. But anyways, I’m writing a story. For the newspaper. About track. I like track, so this is good. I am going to write about three students who qualified for the national championships. This seems like a big deal to me, but I can’t be sure until I talk to two of them later in the day. I wish I could speak with the third, but she’s not on facebook and we’re doing this real last minutely so there’s not much I can do. I am meeting one kid right before practice so maybe something can be worked out if the boys and girls practice at the same time. But I am kind of in a shy mood, so I wouldn’t put money on it. The story will be incomplete without her and it will seem like I am favoring the boy’s team. So maybe I’ll suck it up and see if I can make anything happen. I wish I was better dressed today, but there’s nothing I can do about that now. Also on the extracurricular front, I’ve started running again. I’m still taking baby steps, because you lose a lot when you don’t run for 19 months, but I feel pretty committed to it. I have ambitions of trying to run cross country in the fall for my new school but they’ll be hard, and it will really be hard, if it is for a D1 school, which it probably will be. It looks like I’m already over committing myself as I want to write for the paper and work on the yearbook. I’d also like to have a student government spot at some point in my college career, too. But I should be able to manage things, because cross country, the yearbook, and student government could easily be things I only do for a year or so – just for the experience; and not all at the same time. Thanks for listening.|W|P|114304479508956461|W|P|Running and Writing|W|P|76mang@cua.edu3/22/2006 03:38:00 PM|W|P| MegS|W|P|Most school papers need people who know how to write about sports. Me? I couldn't bear it.

Just go on out there and disguise your shyness. Be the reporter. Ask your questions. If you don't know what to say...be silent. People hate silence, and they'll gab to fill it. (of course, that always works better in person than on the phone.)

You know Ron? He'd go out in trackpants and a t-shirt and work that camera. It's always nice to feel good about yourself and your appearance, but the attitude is the most important thing.

thanks for writing :-)3/16/2006 01:35:00 PM|W|P|Robert Mang|W|P|I apologize for not updating on what happened with the last post from last weak. I did not mean to, I was just careless about it. So anyways, things worked out okay…sort of. I went to bed at 8 pm that night, because I was feeling really tired, and I then proceeded to sleep until 11 am the next morning when my mother called and woke me up. That’s 15 hours of sleep. I think that’s the longest I ever slept, but I was close, at 13 or 14 hours, after I came home from my first semester of college – I slept to like 4 o’clock in the afternoon. I attribute both to stress. So yeah. Back to the MAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!, it was pretty rough last night – hence my post, but I feel normal now. This probably won't last but I'll take it for the moment. I can't decide whether to be productive or just relax and watch the tournament. I don't really care about the tournament, not in the slightest. I didn't even feel out a bracket. But I am afraid I'll miss something. I hate missing things and I enjoy being there. And things are bound to happen. And really, I'd be wasting an opportunity – not being in school, which gives me the freedom to watch the games. But the real reason is that I don't feel like doing anything else. Even now I'm not paying attention to the games, but writing this instead. So anyways, on a more important note, I'm not really sure that I'm happy with my “head” doctor – Dr. C (I had called him Dr. S before but that was a misspelling). He keeps talking about structure and stuff, and while I agree with him in regards to its importance, I thinks he trying to apply these principles where they don't belong. A round hole and square pegs situation. He seems to define me doing well not by how I am feeling, but whether or not I'm following his system. It's annoying. Not to take anything away from him, I can tell that he's a great doctor and I doubt I can do any better than him. It is just frustrating that I don't feel I can just sit there and have a conversation with him which is what I am looking for. He's always preaching, pushing his agendas and not answering my questions. Both of my doctors do that not answering questions deal; they just tell me what they want me to hear but don't give me an honest answer. I planing on going by HCC's counseling center and seeing if I can talk to someone there. Just so that I have someone to talk to. I will, in the name of cooperation, make some goals for the next week: (no order) Each Day: Shower and get dressed each day – I had let myself go Read one chapter from the baseball book I bought Read some of the journalism book I bought a while ago Work on my history papers for at least a hour Do something productive around the house Work on my allOrioles project Eat a piece of fruit Do something that pleases me Do something that pleases someone else Come up with a 10th goal|W|P|114253418016720407|W|P|Structure!!!!|W|P|76mang@cua.edu3/17/2006 01:49:00 PM|W|P| MegS|W|P|maybe say a prayer? Not in the "our father" way, but in the "hey God, what's up?" way.

good goals. Especially the "eat a piece of fruit one" - I'm working on that myself.3/15/2006 09:19:00 PM|W|P|Robert Mang|W|P|Forgive me, but I cannot think in paragraphs right now. There is so much mania, and so little me. So much I want to get out, but so little that I can. So many demands, so many wants, so little production. What to do, what to do. What a joke. But worry not, for all is well with me. I'm just a little crazy.|W|P|114247559235687222|W|P|MANNNNIAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!1111111|W|P|76mang@cua.edu3/14/2006 12:23:00 PM|W|P|Robert Mang|W|P|The test went fairly well. I was surprised. Thanks for the well wishes, they did help motivate me to study. I got a bit out of sorts Sunday, but not too bad. With each major assignment, I seem to handle things a bit better. I'm not sure why I need to relearn how to manage this sort of anxiety, but I do. :( Right now I am experiencing something called Mania. A lot of people think it's a good thing because it is best known for its extreme happiness. But that's really not the case, at least not for me. If I weren't living under a rock right now, there would be a high chance of me doing something that would embarrass myself - as I've done in the past. There's also a chance for me to make a stupid decision which would effect my longterm, but I've had more success avoiding that. What really sucks is the extreme mood changes, I hate how easily you can be on opposite ends of the spectrum. It's maddening to see how this working, but not be able to do anything about it. I hope it passes soon and I'm sure the rest of you, do too. Sorry that this wasn't th e best blog post ever, but I wanted to get something up.|W|P|114235808948369111|W|P||W|P|76mang@cua.edu3/14/2006 04:23:00 PM|W|P| MegS|W|P|hey, at least you posted.

and per usual, you showed/shared some insight.

A lot of people never do that...3/08/2006 10:29:00 AM|W|P|Robert Mang|W|P|Yesterday was my 21st consecutive good day. That’s a lot. My medicine doctor was taken aback when I told him yesterday. But unfortunately, today is not yesterday and things aren’t looking too good for today. There’s still a lot of day left and I am hoping that I can do some work and that that will distract my attention. I think a large part of the problem is that I couldn’t sleep last night and now my energy level is low. There’s also two things which are stressing me out. The first is a midterm next Monday for my psych class. It shouldn’t be a problem – I am a smart kid and she gave us a review sheet. But I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself. I am worried that my question time management skills will bite me in the ass again; that I’ll procrastinate to the night before the test or that I’ll be in incompetent again. I still have problems with reading, although my psych book is an easy read, and I also think my mental capacity has been greatly decreased – my memory is awful and it seems my brain doesn’t work as it once did. Some of it’s probably rust from being, mostly, out of school for the past four months. I used to have a lot of problems with grammar and I know I have forgotten some of things I learned. Also, all this medicine can not be helping things. I’ve read a bit about this and it seems like these things can affect my cognition. But I’m not a doctor. At least not yet, anyways. :) It’s a shame really that I am spending one of my peak years living with my parents, cut off from the rest of society, and struggling in a junior college. It’s not a very good existence. But I shouldn’t complain about this because a lot is my fault, not the depression, but for my life style. I have been neglecting myself for a long time in a lot of different ways. It’s hard to change now, when I am in a world that it so foreign. It would be easier if I was in my natural place – a college campus. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. The other thing is hurting me more than the exam. But it’s long and complicated and not really that interesting, not to mention kind of silly. You know, writing is a great thing. Typing this all out has helped a lot. I am still not in the best place, but at least I am better than was half an hour ago. Thanks guys and meg!|W|P|114183182964462585|W|P|Rough Day|W|P|76mang@cua.edu3/11/2006 11:28:00 PM|W|P| MegS|W|P|(yay! I love seeing my name in print!)

Writing is great therapy...I just wrote about a bad dream I had, and I feel so much better now. I'm so glad that the great blog experiment has been helping you.

If you want to complain about "the silly thing," send me an email. Nothing is too silly! And I find even the most boring things interesting. :-)

Oh, and these are not your peak years. Make your whole life a peak year! Do what you gotta do, take steps to be happy, and know that there is a whole amazing world out there to find and explore, in due time.3/11/2006 11:29:00 PM|W|P| MegS|W|P|oh, and good luck on your test! Show off what you know!3/12/2006 01:35:00 PM|W|P| Anonymous|W|P|Good luck on the mid-term tomorrow. If you ever need to chat or fire off an e-mail, you know where to find me.3/03/2006 06:25:00 PM|W|P|Robert Mang|W|P|Hey guys, Sorry so long in between updates. The work I had to do didn't get done. But fortunately I was able to get a six week extension on it. My illness and the medication I was taking for it, made it nearly impossible for me to get anything done so I glad that the right thing happened. Really glad, actually. I did not realize how much the stress was crushing me until I was told that I'd be spared. I actually yelled throughout the house “the governor has saved me.” I got the news at about 8PM the night before it was due. So I back to my normal life. I've been keeping somewhat busy through a lot of small and insignificant projects. I'm trying to write a creative short story for CUA's literary magazine, I'm not sure how that will work out. Until next time!|W|P|114142834035195956|W|P|Long time no see|W|P|76mang@cua.edu3/04/2006 06:36:00 PM|W|P| MegS|W|P|"The governor has saved me" :-)

I just wrote the longest post EVER. It comes from being blog deprived during the week, due to hesistance on my part to borrow my roommates' computers on a daily basis. (when they're around, at least!)

good luck with Cx!